There have definitely been way more Reaction 1s than 2s, which is reassuring. Whether saying it admiringly or worriedly, whenever someone says "I couldn't do that" I want to yell right in their faces, "I'm not sure I can either! That's the whole point!" I think mostly it's the nervous tension I'm feeling that makes me want to yell it - I am scared; really nervous about what this trip will be like - but I really don't feel like there's anything that makes me more capable of this than anyone else I know. If anything, I feel less equipped for this than I think many of my friends would be/are.
Tomorrow is departure day and I still have quite a lot of things to do before then. I'm also nursing a brutal cold that came out of nowhere. Literally, yesterday morning when I got up I was fine. I had a little trouble staying on top of my breathing when I went for a run, but still felt okay when I got home. After an afternoon nap I woke up with a pounding headache, congested sinuses, and that thick, fuzzy feeling that accompanies a bad cold. I've been knocking back the fluids and vitamins and I'm crossing my fingers that I'll have kicked the worst of this by the time I land in Paris in ... 38 hours!
It's strange to admit that the thing that annoys me most about this cold is that I have no appetite. This is the one symptom that I consider to be completely unacceptable in light of where I'm going. I want to eat ALL THE FOOD. I want to want to eat all the food.
We shall see what tomorrow brings, and how I cope with all the independence. I hope to keep a journal to record my thoughts and rants on this coming-of-age trip. I will read some books, stare at beautiful men, savour my wine, taste new foods, feed my soul the food of incredible sights and sounds. I shall embrace the solitude as a friend I don't yet know but plan to love.
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