I am really bad at being sick.
Some people are really stoic and strong - no complaints, whining, or worries. They tough it out. They may have a travel mug of tea glued to their hands, tissues spilling out of their pockets, Halls wrappers on every surface of their bedroom and cold medicine in their bag, but you don't hear a word out of them. Just the occasional *sniff, sniff* and *ah-choo!*
I am not like that. Well, I am, but only right at first. I will be strong for approximately 48 hours, and then I lose it. I revert back to my four-year old self - sad, depressed, and helpless. Phrases like "I am so over this" and "Someone please shoot me" have been known to escape me. The other problem is that I look sick. And I mean, really look sick. Half-mast eyes pouring forth tears, cherry-red nose, bedraggled hair, and mismatched combinations of sweats and hoodies.
I am no good at being sick. I currently have a very stubborn cold that has now moved into my chest (hello, ab workout!) and am looonnngg past my non-complaining phase. It's been over a week and I am even past the whining phase and have morphed from the nice, friendly nursing student into an angry and bitter persona.
Watch out, world.
Song of the day: Rootless Tree by Damian Rice
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Not My Best Day
This hasn't exactly been the best month of my life. Life rarely goes exactly how you've planned and sometimes it even has the nerve to derail completely and go in a direction you never wanted to go.
That's where I am at now: headed somewhere I very adamantly do not want to be.
The specifics really aren't that important - shit has hit the fan and is getting all over everything. I'm stressed and maybe a little depressed and my automatic reaction is to collapse in on myself. I realized the other day that I had spent the better part of a week sitting in my room, on my bed, watching TV shows online, leaving my haven only for meals and classes. I haven't been sleeping much, can't focus on much of anything, and have let myself fall irreparably behind on class work.
I was talking to someone very near to my heart about the whole fiasco and mentioned my faith, and this lead to an interesting discussion followed by some more in depth thinking that I am still mulling over.
The comment that I found most interesting was how believers seem to think that they are incapable of getting through whatever awful situation without God, but nonbelievers do it all the time - does this make people of faith "weaker" than those who deny a higher being? I disagree with this; not so much the "weaker" part, but the unable-to-get-through-it-without-God part.
People do get through horrendous trials without any sort or amount of faith [though, arguably, if there is a loving God, He is there even though they push Him away, don't know it, or adamantly deny it]. I don't think, however, that I am incapable of getting through things without God - I truly believe that if I told Him to back off He would do it out of love and respect for my free will. Instead, I think the point is that people of faith choose not to go through things alone. Since I believe in God, and I believe that He loves me and knows me, I choose to let Him in and to rely on Him when the going gets tough. It's the same as calling a friend when things are hard: you tell someone what is going on and let them give you a hand carrying your baggage.
It was then said that isn't this just another form of weakness [inability to just do things on your own strength], but again [shockingly], I disagree. No matter how impossibly hard doing something alone may be, sometimes the even more impossible option is to open up to someone else and ask for help - to make yourself completely vulnerable and put your faith and trust in another person to give you a hand.
I choose not to do this alone.
Song of the day: The Lime Tree by Trevor Hall
That's where I am at now: headed somewhere I very adamantly do not want to be.
The specifics really aren't that important - shit has hit the fan and is getting all over everything. I'm stressed and maybe a little depressed and my automatic reaction is to collapse in on myself. I realized the other day that I had spent the better part of a week sitting in my room, on my bed, watching TV shows online, leaving my haven only for meals and classes. I haven't been sleeping much, can't focus on much of anything, and have let myself fall irreparably behind on class work.
I was talking to someone very near to my heart about the whole fiasco and mentioned my faith, and this lead to an interesting discussion followed by some more in depth thinking that I am still mulling over.
The comment that I found most interesting was how believers seem to think that they are incapable of getting through whatever awful situation without God, but nonbelievers do it all the time - does this make people of faith "weaker" than those who deny a higher being? I disagree with this; not so much the "weaker" part, but the unable-to-get-through-it-without-God part.
People do get through horrendous trials without any sort or amount of faith [though, arguably, if there is a loving God, He is there even though they push Him away, don't know it, or adamantly deny it]. I don't think, however, that I am incapable of getting through things without God - I truly believe that if I told Him to back off He would do it out of love and respect for my free will. Instead, I think the point is that people of faith choose not to go through things alone. Since I believe in God, and I believe that He loves me and knows me, I choose to let Him in and to rely on Him when the going gets tough. It's the same as calling a friend when things are hard: you tell someone what is going on and let them give you a hand carrying your baggage.
It was then said that isn't this just another form of weakness [inability to just do things on your own strength], but again [shockingly], I disagree. No matter how impossibly hard doing something alone may be, sometimes the even more impossible option is to open up to someone else and ask for help - to make yourself completely vulnerable and put your faith and trust in another person to give you a hand.
I choose not to do this alone.
Song of the day: The Lime Tree by Trevor Hall
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Not a Blogger
Talk about failing at blogging.
I have been so overwhelmed with the start of a new school year, start of a new choir season (yess!!), and some new added stressors that blogging has rarely crossed my mind. I will try to improve.
Song of the day: Messages by Bobby McFerrin
I have been so overwhelmed with the start of a new school year, start of a new choir season (yess!!), and some new added stressors that blogging has rarely crossed my mind. I will try to improve.
Song of the day: Messages by Bobby McFerrin
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