I hate it when life forces me to be a grown up. Choosing to act like an adult because I am one is one thing, but being forced into it by life circumstances, by the stupidity and thoughtlessness of other people - that I absolutely despise.
There are times when I fully come to the realization that I have to grow up. That one day things like basic house repairs, car maintenance, taxes, and income management will be 100% solely my responsibility. And it scares me. Right now, while I'm in school, I live with my parents. It's not always wonderful (I love them, but sometimes I really wish I lived elsewhere) but when I realize all the responsibility that I am starting to and will have to take on when I graduate next year, I figure I've got it pretty damn good now.
When situations like right now arise, and I have no choice but to take the high road, be the mature adult - I am not so happy about it. As I take on responsibility and adulthood in increasing doses in preparation for my independence (freeeeddooomm!!), I do it in measured amounts, knowing that I have a safety net to catch me if I screw up. With this situation, that is not the case. If it goes badly, there could be some big and unhappy consequences.
Maybe the problem is that I DO have a choice. I could just walk away and pretend that I didn't know what was going on. Be the bystander who encourages the negative behaviour through their non-action. But I will hate myself if I do. Especially if something similiar, or even worse, were to happen down the line because I didn't want to be the adult this time. There is a certain kind of person that I want to be, and cowardly does not fit on that list, but I am feeling like a coward right now.
I will do what I have to do, but I certainly don't have to be happy about the situation.
Song of the Day: Bullet and a Target by Citizen Cope
