the disgusting miracle

I helped deliver a baby last week.

It doesn't look anything like in the movies or even on the reality shows where they "let you see everything." It was simultaneously disgusting, incredible, shocking, frightening, beautiful, and just plain amazing. As a student, I was very lucky to be up close, right in the action. As one friend laughingly put it, I was "in the splash zone." [Ew.] But seriously. I held the mother's leg for 90 minutes while she pushed and at the end of that, there was a baby lying on her stomach. A baby! I won't deny that I got pretty choked up, but I couldn't cry because I didn't have any available hands to wipe my face.

After we gave mom a chance to hold baby for a couple minutes, brand-new, delicate, screaming baby was handed to me. I took vital signs [or tried to - it's hard to hear a heart beat and respiration rate while the infant is screaming blue murder], administered the erythromycin eye ointment, and gave the baby it's vitamin K shot [I understand the screaming for that one]. I swaddled baby, and then gave baby back to mom. The look on her face - awe.

I think the look on my face was pretty awe-struck as well. When I entered the room that morning, there was just an extremely uncomfortable woman in the bed and her partner standing next to her. Two hours later, they were parents, with a beautiful baby in their arms. The whole experience made me realize that I am NOT mature enough to do that. I think I could do the whole pregnancy thing, and I really anticipate the day when I get to be a mom. But labour? Not yet, thank you! I told my instructor this and she said to me, "If you're mature enough to assist with labour, which you clearly were, you're either getting pretty close to or already are mature enough to do it yourself." Not comforting.

A good friend, who is also a nurse, told me that you never forget the first delivery you see. I definitely believe that.

Song of the day: Lux Aurumque by Eric Whitacre [translation - light and gold]