It's happened to the best of us.
Maybe you're getting on the bus, shopping at the mall, or walking into a coffee shop and you see her. She's a little older, her hair is white and [probably] permed, and she looks just like your grandmother: sweet, gentle, and kind. You're walking in opposite directions, just about to pass one another. She smiles at you as you get closer together, and you return the smile, thinking about your own grandma. Then, just as she glides past you, you make a huge mistake - you inhale through your nose.
*Wha-BAM!*
Your nostrils are assaulted by the brick wall that is the scent of her perfume. It's following her like a cloud and it clogs your nose, grates against your eyeballs, and clings to your clothing. You need to cough, your eyes are watering, and your nose is running as your body fights valiantly and desperately to rid itself of the abrading particles. You forget about your own sweet grammy in the aftermath of the brutal attack on your senses and can only wonder, "Why?! Why, oh why?!"
You have been violated by the age-old problem of old-lady perfume. Each time it happens the perfume smells exactly the same. It is brutal and merciless and we've all experienced it. But you will live another day, and there are just enough sweet-looking senior-aged women who don't wear perfume to settle your nerves until you've dropped your guard completely - and that's when you're most vulnerable to another sneak-attack.
In case you're wondering, this did indeed happen to me just the other day. I was at work, walking from my office to the main building and that's when I was blasted by this pungent phenomenon. This was not my first experience with this, it's happened many times before and I'm sure it will happen again.
Cheers.
Song of the day: The Chorus by Donora
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